One Big Yes
by musicallyobsessed11
Summary: Journey of Life and Love: A Tale of Old and New
1. Chapter 1

One Big Yes

Summary: Idina's Journey of Life and Love: A Tale of Old and New

Pairings: Jadina and Chenzel

Rating: NC-17 for series

Disclaimer: *** I do not own these characters (real people cannot be owned). Not meant to offend anyone. Oh and I also do not own any of the concepts of If/Then, Wicked, or any other show/event/song that may be mentioned.

A/N: Forget reality and come along for a fun little ride!

Warning: May hurt the shipper heart of both parties.

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Chapter One

_*Late March 2014*_

**Idina's Brain**

_Great, for the umpteenth time this month, I am laying here at one in the morning trying to get my brain to shut up so I can just go to sleep. I've gotta be at the theatre nice and early tomorrow to go over things. And on top of that, I have yet another interview to do tomorrow for some show or another. But no, here I am, lying here with a wandering brain. Go to sleep, Idina._

_No._

_Please?_

"_Once every day, your life starts again." _ Her brain sing-songed.

_What? _

… _What the fuck does that even mean? There is no possible way someone could create a new life for themselves in one day. If I woke up one day and really wanted to be a doctor, I couldn't just go and do that. I'd have to go back to like 9__th__ grade and try and learn chemistry and math all over again. Man, I really sucked at that stuff. Or what if I just wanted to go and become a professional tennis player? I'm 42 years old for Christ's sake, I can't do that either._

_It's not like I would want to do anything like this. I'm a performer. The stage is where I belong. Ever since I began singing at weddings and bar mitzvahs when I was 16, I knew that all I ever wanted in life was to be a singer. I wanted to be on the road singing my music in front of thousands of people. I never gave up that dream…_

_.. And that's how I got to be where I am: Tony award winner, Broadway "Queen", and Show-Seller-Outer. I quite enjoy where I am, though I wish I could spend more time with Walker: especially with his father being across the country._

… _Taye… God, I really miss him sometimes or maybe I just miss someone to come home to. But hey, people divorce all the time; it is definitely not a rare occasion. Though, I'm like the stupidest person to divorce. Seriously, my career just went on a steep ascent after Frozen. I'm like a household name now. Hell, I'm probably more well-known than he is. Take that, motherfucker._

_I bet he won't have any trouble finding someone else though. The man practically looks like he's still 25 and those abs, mmmm. Well, I guess you know what they say about black men. _

_And then there's me. Forty two and over here like, wrinkles, go away. And elbow skin, can't you just go back to where you should be and, I don't know, DO IT QUICKLY! Sheesh. I know I still look pretty good for my age but sometimes it's hard to focus on that instead of all the negatives; especially when "that special someone" isn't beside you in bed at night telling you how gorgeous and amazing you are. Sometimes the insecurities just make it briefly to the forefront of my mind, ok?_

_However, thanks to all my beautiful Fanzels out there, I could always just look at my Twitter or Facebook page and see all of the compliments they provide. I seriously have the best fan base in the world. Even the overly obsessed ones… I love…_

BEEEP.. BEEEP.. BEEEP!

"Mmmmm." Idina mumbled, still trying to enjoy her sleep.

The alarm continues to go off.

_What is that? _

Idina begins to stir and turns over to find where that awful sound is coming half opens her eyes to see that, naturally, the sound is coming from her alarm that reads only 6:15. _Crap, I gotta get Walker dressed and breakfast and to day care and then get over to the Rodgers. Ugh, can't I ever just get to sleep in for one day?_

She rolls out of bed slowly, stopping when she is seated on the edge to stretch a bit and to shake some of the sleepiness out. She walks over to the bathroom and catches herself in the mirror. After giving herself a good once over, laughing at her bed-head hairstyle, and noting the dark circles under her eyes, Idina finally hopped in the shower in hopes to gain a better sense of alertness that she knew she would need soon.

After she was done drying, she threw some clothes on and went to wake her favorite lil' man.

"Good morning, Waaaalker" she sang softly as she gave him a gentle shake. "Good morning to my favorite little man." She hummed more than anything.

"Morning, Mama." Walker said with a sleepy smile.

"Haha, morning baby. So, what do we want for breakfast this morning?"

_Lemme guess…_

"Waffles!"

_Wow, surprise._

"Okay baby. Now, how about you put on some clothes for day care while I go make us some goodums?"

"Okay!" He replied jumping off the bed to run to his closet.

"Hey now," She said with a fake pout. "Don't you have some lovin' to give to a certain someone?"

Walker smiled and ran back into her already outstretched arms. "I love you mommy!" He said as she peppered his little face with kisses.

"I love you, too, baby." She held him for a moment and then stood and smiled as she watched him run off to his closet again.

_This is the only man I need in my life. _

After a good breakfast with her boy, she dropped him off at day care with a smile and a kiss and headed off for the theatre.

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She arrived at the theatre just a little bit before eight. Naturally she walked in and went straight to her dressing room to set her purse and jacket down. She sat there for a minute to quickly warm up. She didn't feel the need to do a full warm up since this was just supposed to be a quick run through of some things that needed to "fit" better. To be honest, Idina didn't really even think they were gonna run through anything she sings but she thought she should be there in case some of the songs with the company needed worked on.

"Suddenly, a wild Anthony appears!" she heard just before she saw Anthony Rapp appear in her mirror.

Idina couldn't help but laugh. "Haha, hey, Anthony. Man, you're such a nerd some times."

"Hey now," he replied with a mocked hurt expression. "You knew what I was referencing. I think that makes you just about as big of a nerd as I am." He smiled.

"Now, Anthony, no one is as big of a nerd as you are, especially when it comes to video games." She looked over to see the smile had faded ever so slightly. "But I love you all the same." She beamed at him.

"Well, I guess we're all good then." He laughed. "So, Dee, what're you doing here anyway?"

"What do you mean?" she turned away from the mirror to look at him directly.

"I just mean, I didn't think you needed to be here for this. Lord knows you don't need any work on any of your parts. Plus, don't you have some interview thing to be getting ready for?"

"Well, I'm here in case they need to run some of the harmonies or whatever in some of the bigger numbers. I know I don't need any work. Pssh." She gave him a sly grin. "And maybe I just wanted to see everyone. Walker's at day care and you guys are my family. You know I love coming in here every day and seeing all of you. And, yes I do have yet another interview today. Ugh. But it's not until like noon so I have plenty of time to get there."

"Not excited for the interview?" his brow furrowed.

"Eh. I mean, I guess I'm tired of doing them right about now. I feel like I've done at least one a day since Frozen premiered."

"That's because you have." He said with a small smile and laugh.

"Yeah, I know. I don't know. Sometimes I just wanna have a break yah know? Maybe get a chance to see my boy more than just to wake him up and put him to sleep." She looked down and realized she had been picking at her nails again. _I'm surprised I have any of these left._

"Yeah, I get what you mean. I mean, I don't know exactly know what you mean but I can see that that must be hard for you. But hey honey, Walker's doing well and he knows you love him with all your heart and all that. And, I mean, you give all you can for your art. I've never seen you put in less than one hundred percent at any performance or concert. That's just you, Dee. And I'm sure Walker can see that… Hell, the whole world can. You're one Bad Ass Motherfucker, Dee." He patted her knee and smiled.

She returned his smiled. She was always thankful for Anthony's pep talks, ever since those days in Rent. "I am, aren't I?" she smiled a little bit bigger.

He gave a small laughed, "Now Idina, I said it once, I'm not gonna repeat it. Nice try though."

"Well, you can't blame a girl for tryin'" she smiled. "But anyway, thanks for that. You always seem to know what to say."

"Well, I have known you for a long time, Dee. I guess it all just comes with the experience."

"Man, _experience_, that almost makes it sound… I don't know."

"Positively neutral?"

"Exactly." _Man, he does know me pretty well._

"Well, we've had our ups and downs." He said giving her the, you know it's true, look.

"Yeah, yeah." She smiled. "But at least call it an adventure or something. That makes it sound a little more… I don't know... epic! Anyway, we should probably get on out to the balcony."

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A/N: This is just an introduction and setup, basically. I PROMISE things will get more interesting very soon!

New update will be posted on Monday!

Reviews ALWAYS welcome (and highly encouraged)! :)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

On the way, Anthony mentioned that he forgot his water and that he would catch up in a few. A few moments later, she caught up with James.

"Hey Idina! What are you doing here?" he said with that cute little smile.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" she laughed and returned the smile.

"Well, I mean," _Does he look nervous right now? _"You don't need to be. It's just clean ups."

"Yes, James, and I should be here to _clean up_ some things. That is how these things work." She laughed. She always enjoyed teasing him.

"Yes, Idina, but you cannot clean up perfection." James smiled and reaches up to rub the back of his neck nervously.

Idina can't help but to notice the blush that has crept up to grace his features. It was so cute how intimidated he could be. A simple compliment and he turns the color of a tomato. Adorable. "Dearest James, the blush doesn't suit you. And thank you for the compliment but I can always use practice. Anddd you know I love being around you guys. This place is my home and these people are my second family. You know that as well." She placed her hand on his shoulder which received a smile and another slight face flush. Adorable.

When they reached the balcony, Idina took a seat while James went to talk to Jason. Almost immediately after she sat down, Carmel came over.

"Idina, I hate to say this, my dear, but we're really not gonna run anything with you in it. I thought someone was supposed to tell you that." she looked off in to the distance, probably trying to figure out who was supposed to have mentioned it.

"Jeez, do you guys like not want me to be here?" she said jokingly even though she was now starting to actually wonder if this was true. "You're the third person to say that I don't need to be here."

"Oh, well I just thought you might have other things to do instead of spending time here. I don't know. I'm just letting you know that we're not running any of your parts. Plus, I know you have that interview and what not."

She smiled. "It's really ok, Carmel. I love being here and being around everyone."

"But, I mean, you could still be with Walker. Maybe you could go see him before your interview. Just a suggestion." She smiled a little uneasily.

"Hmm, that's true. Maybe I will go play with him at day care. Are you sure you aren't gonna need me here for anything?" she looked back to Carmel. She would stay if they needed her even in the slightest.

"No, no. Idina, go see your baby boy. I'm sure he'll love it." Carmel gave her shoulder a squeeze.

Idina got up to leave and ran into James as he went to sit down. "Finally realizing the multitude of your talent and decide to blow this popsicle stand?"

She giggled. "Two compliments in the same hour that aren't followed by some sort of sarcastic remark? Shit, I must actually be **that** good." _There's that blush again_. "But no, Carmel just reassured that we're not running any of my parts and suggested I go see Walker. So, I'm gonna do that. And, now you're standing in my way of that." She gave a sly, flirty smile. _Wow, I haven't used that in a while._

James instantly moved out of the way, with accompanying hand gestures that signal for her to pass him. Flustered and rambling, "Well, by all means, Idina, go ahead and go, we can talk more later. I…" His voice trailed off.

_Wow, you would have thought that man just met me. He can't still be intimidated by me. Eh, whatever. I get to see Walker!_

By the time Idina got to the car, she was beyond excited to spend the next couple of hours with her son. Now, if only she didn't have that stupid interview to go to, then she could just take her boy and they could spend all day watching cartoons, playing, and dancing around to silly songs. Well, at least until she had to be back for the show.

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When she arrived at the day care center, she could not help herself but to practically skip off to her son's room. She walked in the front door and was immediately halted by the front desk secretary woman.

"Hello, Mrs. Menzel." She said with a bit of concern in her voice. "Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all." Idina beamed. "I just have a couple hours of free time and wanted to come and play with Walker. I mean, I don't get to spend a lot of time with him so, yeah, I'm here now." She smiled again, just wanting to see her boy.

"I'm sorry. That class in naptime." She had looked down at her big book of schedules.

Her smile fell. "Naptime? It's like 9 o'clock. I just brought him in like an hour ago!"

"Yeah, but 9 am is normal nap time. We do have kids that get here at like 6 and this is a good time for their first nap. See, here we believe that..."

"Well, I don't care what time people bring their kids here. I want to see my son. Now." She sounded a bit harsher than she wanted to but she was getting a bit frustrated now.

"Well, it is a very effective system we have in place. The kids get an hour nap thr…"

"Yeah, I don't care. Please, just get my son. And then I'm gonna sit with him in that little family room over there for a few and then he can go nap or whatever you guys do with my child while I'm away." she put on a very fake smile as she tried to sound as nice and calm as she could.

_Jeez, I pay enough for this place, the least they could do is get my son when I ask for him._

"Yes, Mrs. Menzel." The woman bowed her head and turned to leave.

"MS." Idina corrected this time, a little too bitterly.

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Soon enough, the woman returned with her little boy. "Mama!" he came running.

"Hey baby. I missed you and I wanted to come spend some time with you. That sound good?"

"Yes!… oooh, can we play with the cars? I wanna be the red one!" he took off for the family room. She couldn't help but stop and smile at him. "Mom, are you coming?" he looked at her holding out a white model sports car.

_Trying to say something, little boy?_

"You can be this one because it's like you!" he smiled.

_There it is._

"Haha yes baby, I'm white." She smiled.

"No Mama, it's a _lam-ber-gweenie, _it's a sexy car anddd it's white. So, it's you!" he smiled and handed her the car.

Idina's heart melted a bit when her boy said the words. It was so precious. She leaned over and kissed his forehead.

_Wait, did he just call me sexy? Where did he even learn that word? Motherfuuu! Taye. I told him to not use that kind of language until he was older. Eh, he might have just heard Taye say it to me; I guess he could have not actually taught him that word. Oh, who am I kidding, he probably did. Sounds exactly like him. Whatever._

To Idina, it seemed as if she had only been playing with her son for twenty minutes but when she looked up at the clock, it was already getting close to 11.

_Are you shitting me? I just fucking got here. Well, apparently not, but still._

"Vroom, Vroom." Walker was still heavily involved with his cars. She stared at him for a minute before she had to say goodbye for now.

_God, he looks so much like him. But he looks so much like me too. Haha yeah, that's called genetics, Idina. God, I make beautiful babies. Hah. Seriously though, one day I'm just gonna call in sick and spend the whole day with him. We can walk around Central Park or maybe I'll take him to FAO Schwarz and get him a new toy that he can play with when I'm not around. Or.._

"Earth to mommy," he tapped her on her cheek. "Why did you stop playing?" he looked sad. _Oh God, this is gonna be painful._

"Actually baby, mommy's gotta get going," his head dropped a little. "Hey now," she placed her hand under his chin and raised it so he was looking at her. "I'll be home right after the show tonight." That didn't seem to help much. "I love you, baby." She smiled at him and pulled him in for a huge hug.

"I love you too mommy." came the reply in to her ear and her tear ducts couldn't help but to water. Before he could let go and see her, she stood up and took him with her. _Shit, he's getting heavy. _He instinctively wrapped his legs around her and cuddled closer to her neck. She gave another squeeze before she carried him back to the woman at the front desk.

"Ok Walker, time to go back to your classroom." Idina said loud enough for the woman behind the counter to hear. The woman stood and walked closer to the duo.

Instead of letting go, Walker squeezed and cuddled right back in to her arms. _Welp, this is going to be harder than I originally planned. _"I don't wanna go back. I wanna stay with you." His grip didn't loosen one bit.

"Baby, you know I would stay with you if I could but mommy's gotta go get interviewed so she can be on TV. You always love seeing me on the TV." She tried to pry him off of her but this kid's legs are like a vice. _Man, as if this isn't hard enough. Please, baby, make this a bit easier on both of us. _"And like I said, I'll be home as soon as the show's over tonight. I'll tuck you in and sing you a lullaby, just like you like." He finally let go and she put him on the ground. As soon as he touched the ground, he clung on to her leg.

"Can't I just go with you?" he looked up at her with those eyes: the ones that get her every damn time.

She looked up at the ceiling because she knew if she looked at him too long, she would give him everything he ever wanted. "No baby. Not today." She pried him off her leg and squatted down to kiss him again. "I love you, baby, and I will see you later. Go have fun with your friends." She smiled and he returned it.

The woman had watched the whole scene unfold and Idina could tell she felt bad for her. She gave her a sad smile as she took Walker's hand to lead him back to his class. "Goodbye, Ms. Menzel."

Idina returned to her car slowly and the ride to the station seemed to go by in a blink. Over that time, she couldn't stop thinking about the previous few moments.

_He's never been one for scenes. I wish he knew how hard this is for me. I want nothing more than to spend all of my time with him or take him everywhere I go. That's impossible, though. I can just imagine all the swear words he'd pick up if he saw my show. haha yeah, that's exactly what I need, my four year old going around saying,_ _"What the Fuck?"_

Her thoughts quickly trailed off as she reached the door. She barely even remembered the walk or the drive or getting out of the car. She blinked a few times as she entered the door and put on a nice face. Idina vowed a long time ago to never make it seem as if she were having a hard time with anything. To everyone else, her life was going perfectly. Not that she was _necessarily _regretful of how things were playing out; there are plenty of things in her life that are going perfectly.

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A/N: Idina and her son are so cute. I had to write about them.

Next chapter develops the plot. Update soon.

Also posted on Archive of Our Own -usually a chapter ahead of this b/c it's my main site.

Criticism gladly accepted :)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_Like this. _She thought as she looked around the TV station. It was just like all of the other show she had been on recently. Twisty hallways that somehow lead to the main stage, well, I guess it's not really a stage: giant room with couches or something and a bunch of cameras. Yeah, close enough.

As with every interview, they showed Idina to the dressing room they set up for each of their guests. She settled down the room waiting for someone to come. The hair and makeup people will come and then the host. They always come to say hey and give a quick rundown of what's going to happen during the interview.

She pulled out her phone for the time being. She was greeted with a picture of her and Walker from this past year's Christmas. He was so excited about all of the presents she and Taye had gotten him and she had to document the look on his face. She reached for him and he came running to her arms. "Selfieee!" he had screamed and they took the picture. She remembered how she thought selfie was the stupidest word she had ever heard. It was just a picture.

While she was waiting, she looked through her mentions on Twitter. She read through all the things her loyal fans were saying about her. She read one conversation of a few proud Fanzels defending her honor while someone had said that she sounded as if she were yelling or screeching all the time. _I love how often people confuse belting with yelling. Amateurs._

Just then, the hair and makeup people came in. She set her phone down and stood. They told her she could be seated. She replied with, "Well I usually take my shirt off for this process. Forty two and it seems as if all of my hair falls out as soon as you try to run a brush through it."

"If you insist, however, it is not needed, Ms. Menzel." The woman had said.

"Well, is the camera close enough to see a wad of my hair hanging off of the back of my shirt?"

"Hmmm, maybe it is best if you do take it off then." The woman replied with a laugh.

Idina stood and whipped her shirt off. She was fine with being partially naked in front of people; she was from the theatre after all. This was a Broadway interview too: some famous Broadway blog show that theatre fans from all over the world watch on TV or the internet, but she didn't actually know the name of. With the start of her new show, she had had many interviews at these types of places, mainly for positive reviews and shameless solicitation of the new show.

A few minutes after the team had finished her hair and makeup, the host came in. This guy was obviously gay and had those damn black Blues Brothers looking glasses that probably didn't even have a prescription in them. Idina never understood the fad.

The young man seemed very excited to meet her and a little bit nervous as well. He extended his hand toward her and she could tell that it was a bit shaky. She took his hand and shook.

"Wow, Idina Menzel. It is an absolute honor to have you on the show. Many fans have been asking us to get the "Queen of Broadway" on the show. Thank you so much for agreeing to be here."

"Oh well thank you. And no problem. Always glad to get out there and spread the word about the new show." She smiled as she just made her intentions very clear.

"Oh yes. And let me say, I saw the show when it was in DC and absolutely loved it. I have always been a fan of original musicals; they always seem to be the best. And the subject of the show, oh my gosh, it is truly an emotional rollercoaster. I was balling like a baby by then end and omg, it was just so good. I cannot wait to see it again!"

"Thank you." Idina replied, never too sure as to what how she should reply. "Tom and Brian worked so hard on it for so long. I'm so happy to be a part of it."

"Yes. So anyway, the show is going to be pretty standard. Intro, questions, yadda yadda. I usually kind of play each interview by ear and see where the conversation goes. I'm not a fan of scripts for this kind of thing. Is that ok with you?"

"Yeah, that's fine." She truly had no problem with winging this kind of thing. She was good under pressure.

"Fantastic." He smiled. "Also know that this isn't live and will be edited as necessary. That being said; don't worry about flubbing or cursing or taking too long to answer. It can all be edited. Oh and last thing, we usually have our guest answer some Tweets we received, is that okay as well? He gave another reassuring smile.

"Yes, yes. It all sounds fine. I've embarrassed myself plenty of times on talk shows, I'm not too worried." She returned the smile.

After a few more moments, they called for her and she was lead to the couches for the interview.

She was asked all the typical things: Adele Dazeem, Let It Go, Wicked movie, If/Then and the new cast, working with Anthony and Michael again, blah blah blah. These things were literally all the same. _You would think people would get bored with hearing me gave basically the same answers to the same questions. Is this really all they wanna know about?_

"Okay Idina, time for some of the Twitter questions. Ok?"

"Yes and please, please make them interesting." She was actually very excited to see what people actually wanted to know about her though; she doubted this man was going to ask her many of the things people actually wanted to know. Lord knows she had seen many interesting questions on Twitter, which she was always advised to not answer, no matter how much she actually kind of wanted to.

"Ok then, first question. 'How do you handle performing such an emotional show on a day to day basis?' Oh, that is a good one. Yes, Idina, how do you not have an emotional breakdown each time? I know I had one in the audience."

"Well, I think it was a little difficult at first and especially when I first got involved in the project. They had told me that it was gonna be based around the whole question of 'What If?" and was gonna explore my character's life going down two paths based solely off of one decision that was made. So, naturally, I played out many of the decisions I have made in my life and tried to figure out what would have happened had I made those decisions differently. I'm analytical that way. And I think, once I went through every one of those scenarios I could think of, cried my eyes out and hated myself, I guess it was then that I decided that I have had so many great things happen in my life that I should not spend so much time regretting what could have happened. I think that is what keeps me sane, in a sense. However, if you've seen the show, you'll see that I go through that journey with all of you, every night. The emotion you see is very real."

"Wow that was a great answer, Idina." He had gotten very serious. He said the Twitter handle of the next person and followed with the question. "Which do you find weirder: 14 year olds that call you mom or 14 year olds that wanna marry you?"

The question caught her completely off guard but caused her to laugh. "Wait, someone actually asked that? I guess I did say to make them interesting." she laughed a bit more "Umm, they're both a little strange but they're both kind of flattering in a way. I guess if I had to answer, I guess I would have to say that the ones who call me mom. I had plenty of crushes on older celebrities when I was a kid. I don't necessarily find either that weird though. I guess?" she looked to the host with a questioning look to see if she had given an acceptable answer to the question.

"Yeah, I would have to agree." The host, who she still could not name, replied. "Anyway, last question." The host looked down as his note card and turned almost pale. He looked off to the producers and whispered 'seriously' as if she weren't even there. Idina assumed it was something about Taye; people were probably curious about what had happened to them. He looked back at the card read it again and didn't look any more relived after reading it the second time.

Idina became very nervous and she felt her heart drop right before he spoke the words.

"Jadina or Chenzel?" the host couldn't look her in the eye after the question.

Idina didn't really know how to take this. She must have looked confused because the young man kept going. "Well, Jadina would be…"

She cut him off, "Yes, I know **who** they refer to. I'm confused as to how they mean it. Are we talking which do I prefer to work with, which is am I closer to, or are you asking me which one I would date which is what is normally what the combination of the name refers to?" she prayed she didn't have to answer the last one; she really didn't even know why she had given the suggestion. Idina had always seen plenty of stuff on the internet about each of them. 'The shippers' all seem to go crazy whenever a new picture of either of them comes out. Recently with thy Hey Kid vlog and then last October with the tenth anniversary of Wicked and the spread EW did. All of them usually saying something like, 'Just get married already.' And now that Taye is out of the picture…

"I don't really know; that's all they asked. Why don't you just answer all three?"

_Shit, fuck. Why didn't I just keep my mouth closed? Get yourself out of this, Idina._

"Yeah, hold on." The frustration was stemming from her nervousness. She honestly didn't know how the answer to any of those questions. "What kind of question is that? And why would you even ask me that?" She looked over at the host who was shrinking in to his chair. "Like seriously, are you trying to get me to talk badly one of my coworkers? I love each of them and they're completely different. It is impossible to compare them to each other. There is my answer."

The host looked up at her and sat up a little straighter. He looked like had just grew a pair. "Ms. Menzel, no one asked you to compare them to each other… The question is asking you to compare your individual relations with them."

"The question is trying to get me to say that I prefer one of them over the other, which would involve me comparing them, which I have really never even thought about that."

"Yes, but now you're single and they both are too so, it very well could be possible. There are plenty of people who would be very happy to see you with either of them."

_How did we skip straight to which one I would date?_

"I'm sorry but I do not let the opinions of people, especially ones I do not know, affect my love life, thanks." She was irritated now and she was sure it was showing. _Fuck, they've probably been filming this whole time. _ She looked over at the cameras that were, in fact, still rolling. _God, this will probably be all over the internet in like an hour._

She continued after a moment of silence. "Look, I just mean that I do not think it is right to compare them to each other. They are both fantastic costars and friends. Plus, I see James every day; I barely talk to Kristin much because we are both very busy. And as for dating them, hell, I can't say I would know what that would be like, and I never really thought about it."

_Nice lie, Idina. _Her conscience thought bitterly.

"Ok, that is a fair enough answer." He replied rather dejectedly.

"I'm sorry for getting mad. I just… The question just kind of threw me. I'm sorry." She smiled and hoped that cleared the tension.

It seemed to work a bit. The host stood, smiled, and stuck his hand out. She followed the same process and shook the man's hand. "Thank you so much for coming in today and I am sorry as well for that last question. I will talk to the editors about it." He smiled again and walked towards one of the camera men.

Idina returned to the dressing room to collect her things.

_That was the strangest thing. NEVER have I ever been asked anything on those subjects during an actual interview and both at the same time! I mean, yeah, I see articles and pictures and tweets and all that on the internet but wow, this is a first. I guess some people are more professional than others. Or I guess some people are just ballsier. _

Idina didn't have much time to dwell on that matter before leaving the station. It was getting close to 3 o'clock by the time she had left and she needs to take care of a few errands and get something to eat before she had to be back at the theatre.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

As soon as the errands were done, she got in the back of a town car that would take her to the Rodgers. She sat back to enjoy the 20 minute drive. She closed her eyes for a few moments and her mind began to wander.

_So Idina, Jadina or Chenzel?_

It's not like this was the first time her brain touched on the question. She would always see postings about the made up couples on Twitter and Facebook and her mind would wonder. She had even taken the time to read a couple of the 'fanfics' the fans made. Idina did note that many of them actually did seem plausible and some could even go as far as saying they depict her and James or Kristin very well. It was always interesting to see what people thought happened behind closed dressing room doors, especially back during her Wicked days. That was really interesting for people to try and speculate about what happened between her and Kristin. She'd be lying if she said all of the stories were wrong. However, she didn't even want to think about that. It was a long ass time ago and, like she said, she hasn't seen or talked to Kristin in forever.

_Does he really have that big of an effect on you? _

_What?_

_You know what you would have said back in the day. _

_That I was married? And it was all such a long time ago. Plus, so many things have happened since then._

_Like him?_

_Not particularly. _

_So, Chenzel?_

_No! Neither! Drop It, Jesus._

Idina laughed as she just realized that she was basically arguing with herself about this. Why did her mind always feel the need to bring up things she really didn't want to think about? She was happy where she was… or, maybe not if her mind had felt the need to bring up such a subject.

_No, that can't be it. It must be just because they asked that question. I wouldn't have thought of it otherwise. Or would I have?_

Idina stopped her internal musings as soon as the town car came to a stop. If she knew herself at all, this would not be the last time her mind would wander off to the subject.

||\/|||~||\/||~||\/||

As usual, there were quite a few fans waiting in front of the stage door that were hoping for a picture or autograph, which she was usually perfectly okay with doing.

She was running a little late today so she tried to go through the mini crowd as quickly as she could. Thankfully, there weren't any more because pictures take super long and she needed to warm up and such.

She walked through the stage door and to her dressing room. She was actually very excited to do the warm-up and the show. She absolutely loved this show. It was still fairly new so it was safe to say that almost all of the audience had not seen it six or seven times: not that that really affected her but it was a great feeling to amaze these people with a great first impression of this wonderful work.

Idina got to her dressing room and saw that the interviewer from earlier had sent her flowers. She rolled her eyes at the sight. She didn't think it went that poorly that they needed to try and kiss her ass now.

_Whatever. _She thought as she started to take off her clothes to go start her warm up.

As soon as she was only in her underclothes, James came barging in. Idina didn't even flinch but she did stop taking her clothes off and acknowledged him. "Way to knock, James." She smiled at him and put her hands on her hips.

"Idina!" he said surprised followed by him checking her out starting at her legs. The blush returned as well as a nervous smile. "I'm so sorry for barging in. Warm-up time?" he gave a small laugh.

Idina suddenly became very aware of the underwear she had on. They weren't like granny panties but they were just plain black low cut briefs: not sexy at all. And then for a brief moment, she wondered why she was even concerned.

_I guess it is nice to be looked at like that. _

_You do like him! Idina and James sittin in a…. STOP!_

She reprimanded herself internally and then snapped out of it by talking to James who was still staring at her. "Yeah, I was just getting ready to warm-up. What's up?"

"Umm… what was I here… Oh! Yeah. In 'You Never Know"…"

"Is this about that one cross we just never seem to do?"

"Yes, actually. How did you know I was gonna…"

"Because it's the main thing we do wrong like every show, James. I do notice these things."

"Well I guess I was wondering if you wanted to do it or if we should just leave it out and stop thinking about it or actually do it?"

"Well, I don't think it's a big deal if we leave it off. It hasn't ruined _the moment_ yet." She added the emphasis for dramatic effect.

He visibly gulped and stuttered. "I... I… yeah, I don't think we need to have it in there. That moment is already pretty _momentous._" The last word rolled off his lips rather seductively and Idina almost felt like she was gonna blush. She turned to look in the mirror and she saw no sign of red. She did however look up in time to see James look at her ass. Again, very aware of the undies she had on. However, James didn't seem to mind.

"Well, did you need anything else? We should probably warm-up before we need to get dressed." She smiled.

"Yeah. I mean, nope, nothing. I'll see you later, Dina."

As soon as he left, Idina stripped the rest of clothes and went to her shower to warm-up. Yes, her warm-up was strange as it was done completely naked under the steaming water. She probably made the weirdest noises too. Oh well, you do what you have to.

|\/|||~||\/||~||\/||

After the curtain call, Idina returned to her dressing to take the wig, makeup, and clothes off and return to her normal clothes. She sat in her chair as they removed the wig and soon she was seated, she off in space thinking about the show that had just happened.

It was a fantastic show. She hit all her notes and cues and managed not to cry in the middle of 'Always Starting Over' which she does sometimes. The 'You Never Know' seemed almost to work out smoother even though all they did was agree to not do something they didn't do anyway. James really sold that song today, too. It was so full of persuasion and lust and love… and the kiss that followed just happened to rank right below amazing. It all felt so real. Not that it's not real but sometimes it comes off as staged to her and if it comes off as that to her, then she can imagine what it would do to the audience. But today… damn.

Idina looked up at herself in the mirror to see that she had a silly grin on her face. She quickly made it go away as the crew finished removing the wig and mic. She looked at the clock to see that it was close to 11. She decided a quick shower would be nice, a quick stage door, and then off to see her baby boy. She smiled at the thought of seeing Walker.

Idina arrived home closer to midnight. _Fucking traffic._

Idina went straight to her boy's room and found that the babysitter had already tucked Walker in and he was fast asleep. She debated for a few moments if she should wake him but she voted against it. She did, however, take the chance and walked over, kissed his forehead, and tucked his stuffed T-Rex under his arm.

"I love you, Walker." She whispered before getting up and walking out of the room.

Idina went to her room, picked up her laptop, and laid down on the bed. She opened it to see a picture of her and her cast. She truly did love all of those people involved with the show.

She opened up her Twitter feed and scrolled though her timeline. Nothing interesting there so she went instead to her mentions. It was much of the same.

" idinamenzel I love you."

" idinamenzel you're beautiful inside and out. Stay sassy."

" idinamenzel WHY ARE YOU IGNORING US? BITCH. Jkjk I love you so much."

The tweets she received always amused her. Sometimes she wonders if people know she reads at least almost all of them. It's hard to see them all when you're busy or don't get on for a few days.

About 10 mentions in, she noticed a tweet that read, " idinamenzel HOW COULD YOU NOT PICK JADINA?" and was accompanied by a link. Admittedly, her heart dropped a few inches. She didn't really think the episode would air this soon. She immediately clicked on the link.

It wasn't the episode but it was a preview article. The part on her was just a paragraph but the ending sentence alluded to the question. "Also, don't get your hopes up too far Jadina and Chenzel shippers. When asked about the subject, Idina managed to avoid giving a solid answer.

_Motherfuckers! _She thought angrily. _Now I sound like I'm hiding something or hate both of them. God, I hate the fucking media._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_*3 months later. Early June 2014*_

_Well, this month is either gonna be really awesome or it's really gonna suck. _The now forty-three year old thought as her mind touched on the fact that this month was gonna hold the Tony's, the Tony performance, and her Radio City Music Hall sold out show. She had all of two more days until the first major even and, admittedly, she was getting a little nervous. She had faltered a bit at the Oscars and now she felt like she was counting on herself to redeem herself.

"_Why do I always have to be my own worst enemyyyyyyyyy." _Her brain sang. In the midst of all the chaos, she had forgotten how much she missed singing her own music. _I'll have to bring some of that back around at Radio City. _

Oh the agenda for today, Idina was gonna go get fitted again for the final alterations for her Tony dress. She was so excited for this dress. It was absolutely gorgeous and kind of scandalous, if she had to say so herself. She had just had one of the most amazing years of her life and this Tony dress was just going to add to that, even if she didn't win the award.

After the dress alterations, a workout ('_Mama gotta look good in that dress.'), _a nice salad for dinner, and a quick phone call to Walker, Idina found herself back at the Rodgers preparing for the night's show.

One of the house managers came in as Idina was putting on the finishing touches to her character's look. "Hey Idina, we have a couple of special people in the audience today. Would you like to know who they are?"

They always asked Idina if she would like to know what celebrities were gracing the show with their presence. Sometimes she did, sometimes she didn't. "Ummm, do I know these people well?"

"One, yes, very. And the other, I don't know your relation with that one so I cannot comment on it." She replied.

"Who's the second one?"

"Paul from _Show People_ is here."

Idina smiled, "Oh, I love him! He just interviewed me for that show not too long ago and said he'd be here. Glad he finally got around to coming."

"Yeah, that's great. Did you want to know the other?"

"You said I know this person well?" She nodded. "Then, no, I don't think I do. Thank you, though."

Idina didn't really like to know when one of her good friends was in the audience because she'd be too keen on trying to impress just them or show them up and she didn't care for that; she wanted to melt the face off of everyone in the house….

||\/|||~||\/||~||\/||

… And Idina did just that. When she walked on for the curtain call, everyone was already on their feet for the previous cast members but she heard a giant increase in the volume of the applause. She looked out into the crown and quickly spotted Paul. She gave a quick wave and continued the scan, looking for any more familiar faces.

Sadly, she did not see any but told herself that it was probably because of those damn lights that barely let you see past the first seven rows. _Hopefully they'll stop by backstage._

Idina went back to her dressing room and changed and such. An acceptable time later, she got a knock on her door which turned out to be Paul. They talked for few minutes and he raved about how great the show was. After he left, Idina decided to give whomever this person was a few extra minutes.

_Maybe it's someone from Rent and they're talking to Anthony or Michael. _

She really wanted to know who this person was but after a few more minutes and a quick walk through of the dressing rooms to find everyone was basically gone, Idina decided it was best to head home.

||\/|||~||\/||~||\/||

That night, after peaking in on Walker, she lay in her bed and thought more about the mysterious "friend" who didn't even want to see to her. She thought about it so much, she was beginning to make herself upset.

_What kind of fucking person that I know "VERY" well wouldn't come to say hi? Like, why would you come to the show, tell someone (enough people knew that it got back to her), and then just NOT SHOW UP. How rude. If I ever find out who this person was…. _

She thought of all the mean things she would say to this person. After a few minutes, she calmed down and thought of how silly she was being. There were plenty of reasons why this person wouldn't have come to see her.

_This is really nothing to get all torn up about, Idina. You have plenty of things to think about. _

She thought about her sound check for the Tony's the next day became even more excited about the whole ordeal. She was super excited to sing at the Tony's again. It had literally been a decade since she performed. Her memories of green makeup, broom sticks, and flying came flooding back. And of course there was…

_Kristin._

Idina thought of her blonde costar and couldn't help but grinning as she thought of all the times they had performed that song together. It was always the song the people wanted to here. They would go from interview to interview singing it. She thought of a few interviews they had had together when, suddenly, she remembered the interview she had with that Broadway blog a few months back.

_Shit, how could I have forgotten about that? I wonder if they edited that last question or chopped it up in some way. I haven't seen anything on it since so it couldn't have been too bad. Oh wait. I have barely been on Twitter in the past few months. Oh God._

Idina practically hoped off the bed and ran to the living room, where her laptop was sitting on the couch. She opened it and froze.

_Fuck… what was the name of that show? _She laughed to herself. _Uhhhh, fuck. _

She really couldn't think of it and decided to just Google 'Idina Menzel Interview'. The first result was about Taye. It read "Taye Talks Candidly about THE Split" and it was from gossip rag. She rolled her eyes and skimmed right pass it. It the past couple month, she noticed that she seemed to be less and less concerned with him. He was the same and actually a lot more discerned with it. She knew he was 'hanging out' and 'talkin'' to some women.

There had been plenty times in the past few months that she had to remind herself to stop caring. She was a little hurt that he seemed to be moving on from their _ten year_ marriage but at the same time, she looked at where she was. She was performing a SOLD OUT concert at THE Radio City Music Hall for seven thousand adoring fans. It was becoming one of her proudest accomplishments and it hadn't even happened yet. Going down a little further, Idina finally found the site she wanted.

She scrolled down and found the embedded video. She clicked play and watched. She listened to herself talk about all those boring things all the interviews asked her. Around 16 minutes, the Twitter questions came. She listened to her answers for the first two and waited to see if it would continue. It did.

"Jadina or Chenzel?" the host asked.

"I love each of them and they're completely different. It is impossible to compare them to each other." They somehow had a show of her smiling.

The host turned to the camera with a devilish grin, "Idina, no one asked you to compare them to each other. We just want to know if you'll be getting together with either of them soon." The production had inserted the host having a huge, open mouth, grin. "You're single and they both are too so, it very well could be possible. There are plenty of people who would be very happy to see you with either of them. I know I would!" another smile to the camera.

"I never really thought about it." There was a shot of Idina looking around nervously. "As for dating them, hell, I can't say I would know what that would be like." Now there was a shot of Idina giggling like a schoolgirl which she couldn't seem to remember ever doing. "I don't know, they are both fantastic costars and friends, but I see James every day; I barely talk to Kristin much."

Naturally, here was another shot of the host smiling stupidly at the camera with a 'look what we just found look.' This must have been shot after she had left because she knew for a fact that that guy had not made that face.

After the video ended, she scrolled down to read some comments.

"JADINAAAAA 3 3 3"

"Wait, does that mean she picked James? I'm confused."

"THEY'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER! #Jadina!"

"No… NO! Che… Chenzel IS love! :'''("

The comments were mixed and she really couldn't tell if there was a clear majority on the subject. After a few moments, Idina realized that that really isn't what she should have been concerned with.

_Dear Idina, why are you concerned with who they choose for you? Shouldn't you be more concerned figuring out whether they actually think you and James are a thing? That is how it sounded._

Idina thought about it again. There really wasn't anybody who said they thought she had said that she would go for James. The whole conversation was just going back and forth about who to pick.

_Well, this is a good sign. I mean, I feel like someone would have said something if every was thinking her and James were a couple or going to be. That is what I have people for. Plus, it seems like a bunch of the cast and crew are always keeping tabs on those things. Someone would have said something. Yeah. I guess this is all fine._

Idina looked down to see that it was getting close to one in the morning. She decided that she should try and sleep some for her day tomorrow. Two shows and a sound check, that's gonna be fun.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Idina was awoken by an angry alarm that was warning her that she had better get up and get going. Frustrated, she rolled over and turned it off before it could piss her off any more. Idina hated getting up in the morning.

She got up, got dressed, woke her son up, poured him some cereal, and got him dressed. First off today was the sound check. It was only 9 am and Idina was kind of cranky. Her son was going with his dad to LA for a while but, she wasn't gonna be a bitch to these people. That, for sure, would be a bad idea because she really didn't want to be known as the diva of the night.

She arrived at the sound check about 25 minutes before she was scheduled to have her check. Since it was so early, she definitely needed to warm up. She had done a few things in the shower this morning but not nearly as extensive as she normally did. She sat in her dressing room she would be using the next night and started to run some scales.

A few minutes later, the tech people came in and began setting her up with the microphone. They made small talk and worked on trying to make sure the microphone wasn't going to be visible under the wig she was going to wear.

The tech people were really sweet and obviously big fans. They told her how they had loved her since Rent and Wicked and so on. It always seemed that people felt the need to tell her that they weren't just fans of her because of Frozen or Let It Go. Yes, she had plenty of people that were like instantly in to her after the film, but she knew she had plenty of people that have been fans for almost two decades. And, since they were at the Tony's, she had no doubt that these people had probably been fans of hers for a while.

After the mic was placed, she made her way to the stage. She looked out in to the nearly empty theatre and stopped to take a deep breath. The full effect hadn't even hit her yet. In that moment, it seemed as if she had just performed 'Defy Gravity' here yesterday. She scanned the empty chairs and instantly found where they had placed her and Kristin. She remembered the announcers calling her name for the Tony award. She remembered kissing Kristin and then Taye and Kristin grabbing her arm and not letting go until she was too far from her reach.

It all happened so fast, soon enough she was rambling on stage, trying not to cry in front of all the attendees. She smiled at her thoughts but then remembered some of the things that happened after and the smile quickly disappeared.

"_Do you actually love her?"_

"_What are you…?"_

"_Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, Dee... Kristin! Do you?"_

"_Of course I do, everything we've been through in that show, she's one of my best friends, Taye. You know that! What is your problem today?"_

"_Stop playing dumb, Dee. It doesn't fucking suit you."_

"_I don't know what you mean! Whatever you think is…" She wasn't even able to get the rest of her sentence out before Taye stormed off to the bedroom, slamming the door._

At the time, Idina really hadn't known what he was referring to. Kristin was like a sister to her and she loved her as such. It wasn't until quite a few years later that she figured out what he had meant.

She erased those thoughts from her mind again and took her place for the sound check. She was so much more comfortable with it this time. She sings the song eight times a week, she better be comfortable with it, she thought with a slight laugh.

She ran the beginning and middle of the number a few times, practicing her movements and emphasis. She practiced facial expressions and when to attack or when to ease up and be emotional. She loved the song and it was turning out to be her anthem more and more.

"Cause we're always starting over, every life we're lii-ii-iiving. Yes, we're always JUst away, every step we take and, my love, our life is over but love, I'll make you one last vow. To start over and over and overrrr somehow…" she paused.

She seemed to keep stopping at the last line. She looked around, curious eyes wondering about her actions but, at the same time, adoring her every step. She kept seeing people take pictures of her that were bound to end up on Twitter or Facebook. She didn't care and she actually wanted them to appear there. She was so proud of herself. It seemed to hit her every time she stepped on a stage, especially one like this.

As she stood there, she glanced around again. Just over a week from now, she would be here again performing her own show which was already SOLD OUT. She had to admit, she found it all ironic in a way. One part of her life had fallen apart while the other just kept getting better and better. She was so thankful for that side of her life, it definitely was a quite the distraction from the less than ideal side of her life.

However, as she stared around the famous theatre, she finally solidified something she had been stepping around for the past couple months now. Right here, right now, her life was amazing.

A small tear formed in the corner her mind as a huge smile crossed her sharp features.

||\/||~||\/||~||\/||

The rest of the day went by in a blur. She performed the shows and was exhausted by the time she got home for the night. All she wanted to do was curl up and fall asleep, her brain had other plans.

As she lay down, she noticed that the anxious feeling she gets sometimes had appeared. She felt like she was gonna throw up at any second. She always hated the night before a huge event; that was when her nerves seemed to kick in the most. She pulled out her laptop and logged on to Twitter, looking to her Fanzels to put her mind at ease.

She scrolled through the feed, seeing if anything was new. She favorited a few of her past costars' updates and followed a few links that they had posted.

She stopped when she saw a tweet Kristin had replied to. " KChenoweth are you going to the Tony Awards?" nope. shooting a movie!

She can't say why, but she was a little disappointed that she wasn't going to be seeing her the next day. She was also a little sad that she wouldn't be able to find her in the crowd when she was up on stage singing.

Kristin had somehow always been able to calm her down in big situations like this. She remembered how they had sat backstage preparing for their big number to come up.

'_Idina. Stop being so nervous. You'll be completely fine. I believe in you."_

Kristin had said as she laid her small pink hand on Idina's green covered skin. She was smilling from ear to ear and her light eyes sparkling.

"_Thanks, Kris, I just, couldn't we have done For Good or something? Why did they have to pick the one that I'm flying in the air, trying to belt my brains out? Kris, you know how I feel about being up there and now it's worse. We're not at home in the Gershwin." Idina's chin drooped._

"_Idina, look at me." She had placed her hand on her chin and raised it. "You will be fine. It's not any different than at home. And, if it gets weird, look down at me. I'll be with you that whole time and I'll be there when you come down. I'll always be there."_ _And in that moment, Idina knew things were going to be fine._

Now, she wasn't going to have any of her cast with her at the show. She stood for a moment desperately wishing James was going to be there. He would know how to get her to calm down too. Or even Anthony, he had known her so long that he could get her to do many things: or persuade her to not do many things.

But, she remembered that after the awards, she would go to the If/Then party where many of her closest friends would be waiting for her. They would all embrace her and tell her how amazing the performance was. They'd tell stories of chills and perfection, amazement and awe. After it all died down and people went back to their dates, she would grab a couple drinks and socialize with Anthony and Michael. She would talk to her girl LaChanze for a bit and the Jenn. And soon enough, she'd probably plop down next to James and they would probably talk for the rest of the party with casual interruptions as people headed out.

_Yes, it will all be just fine. _She thought just as she dozed off.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

She woke the next morning with a smile. She couldn't remember exactly but she figured she had either had a really good dream or she was still thinking of today's events. Either way, today was going to be a good reason to smile.

The game plan for today included the typical Sunday matinee. From there, she would get dressed with the gown that had already been shipped over there. Then she would work the red carpet, watch the show, get dressed for her performance, redress in her gown, and wait for the big award to be announced which, of course would be at the very end.

Idina wasn't getting her hopes up too far for the Tony. She was up against some of the best women yet; each of them, in her mind, deserving of the coveted award. Plus, it's not like she didn't already have one. It really wasn't going to hurt if she didn't get it.

She started her day as usual. She showered and ran a few warm-up techniques. She didn't have to get Walker because he was in LA with his father for the next few weeks. She putzed around her house for a bit. Looked at some headlines on the internet to see what was going on in the Big Apple.

She then put some loose clothes on to go do some yoga. It was a very good way to relax before this night. She enjoyed the feeling the positions gave her. It was if all the stress melted off for that hour and sometime after.

After a nice session, she headed over to the Rodgers. It was about two hours before the show was going to start and all she really wanted to do was walk around and talk to her cast mates. She set her stuff down and was about to walk out of her room when James came in.

"Idina!" James, who had his camera with him, yelled. "Idina, I wanna get a pre-Tony, Tony interview with you!"

"James, you already interview me, silly."

"Yes, but it wasn't ON the night of the Tony's. It'll be quick, I promise."

"I guess I could go for a quickie." She smiled at him as he had already begun setting up the camera on the camera in front of the mirror. She noticed that he had stopped what he was doing, closed his eyes, and turned two shades darker. She could only imagine what he was thinking but somehow she felt like it involved throwing the things currently residing on her dressing room table on the floor, setting her up there, and kneeling before her. She blushed a little at her own thought.

He quickly snapped out of it and finished setting up the camera. "Ok, Idina Menzel, how are you feeling about the upcoming performance tonight at THE Tony Awards?"

He held his hand out in front of her as if he were holding a mic. She laughed and played along. She grabbed his hand and talking in to it, "Well, Mr. Snyder, I'm feeling pretty damn good about it if I do say so myself."

He brought the 'mic' back to his own face. "As you should, Idina. We're all rooting for you, boo."

"Aww, well thank you." She couldn't help but smile at the term of endearment.

He continued to ask random questions about the night

"Who are you most excited to see?" "Who are you taking with you?" "What are you going to say when you win your second Tony?"

She answered all of his questions but laughed the last one off, mostly. She looked back to James for another question. She actually really enjoyed talking to James, especially all the random things he would ask for the vlog.

"Do you have another question for me, Mr. Snyder?" Idina asked with a mock professional tone. She laughed when she finished the sentence. However, James suddenly looked a little frazzled and he had a little sweat starting to appear on his forehead.

"Yes, Idina. Umm.. well… Would you…" he stuttered on for a few seconds before, "You know, how about I ask you after the Tony's." He said quickly and shut the camera with a thud. He got up and turned to leave, stopping at the door he said, "Good luck Idina. Not that you really need it but seriously, knock 'em dead."

The matinee seemed to go by so quickly and she couldn't help but notice something slightly off about James during some of the scenes. But, with the Tony's closing in, she forced herself to think nothing of it. Instead, she did the bows and went straight back to her dressing room to begin getting glamorized.

About an hour and a half later and a few peeks from fellow castmates, she was ready to head over to Radio City. She took one final look at the gorgeous deep red gown she was wearing. She wandered over her curves, starting in the bottom and working up to the veryyy low cut v that showed a good majority of her breasts. She had to admit, she looked fierce!

She braced herself. She was going to walk out the stage door just like every other show but, this time, she was not going to sign anything but she would stand around casually so everyone could get a picture of her. These loyal fans were going to be the first to see her attire for the evening and she knew they would all be ecstatic.

As imagined, she walked out and the applause and cheers were almost deafening. She hear random people cat calling and screaming and… was that one crying? She looked around and gave few waves to the people before getting in her car.

And just like that, it seemed that she had rocked the runway with the thousands of flashes going off in her direction. She soaked it all in. She was among her people this time and she couldn't believe how amazing it all felt. She knew that everyone here knew her name… her correct name… and were familiar with her work. She also knew that everyone here knew about what happened over the years with Taye. They were practically Broadway's Sweethearts. However, when she looked in to the eyes of the fans, the celebrities, and the media, all she could see was admiration.

No pity.

No remorse.

No consolation.

Just love and adoration.

It all felt so good.

In no time, she was back stage getting ready for her big number. All of the performances before were staged so well. Her song didn't need staging though. It was just her, all alone, on stage with the spotlights focused on her. For a few moments, she wished for James, for Kristin, for Frankie, for anyone… but, as quickly as it came, it left.

She heard Jonathan's introduction and the play off of what John had said and she walked confidently on to the stage to take her place. She waited for the music to start and secretly thought of Carmel in the bathroom conducting. She stoned her face for the beginning of the scene she was setting.

She sang the song just as she had envisioned. She was singing it with so much conviction and emotion that she feared she would have the audience crying and ruining all their makeup that they had spent hours applying.

"Cause we're always starting over, every life we're lii-ii-iiving. Yes, we're always JUst away, every step we take and, my love, our life is over but love, I'll make you one last vow. To start over and over and overrrr somehow…"

And just as she was about to say the line, she thought:

_Let everyone know…._

"MY NEW LIFE STARTS RIGHT… NOOOOOOOOOOW." She sang her heart out in that last line. She ended the song and the house went black. She heard the applause begin immediately. When the house came back on, she saw the smiling peers and the whooping and hollering they were doing. She gave a slight bow and walked of the stage.

She was on fire from the adrenaline. She had to get changed back in her dress and return to her seat in time for her category.

She walked back through the halls of the theatre and back to her dressing room. The team she had said they would give her a few minutes to herself when they got back the dressing room before they came in to help with the dress, hair, and makeup. They did as they said and continued down the hall and left her to turn in to her room by herself.

She was glad for or a moment a long or, well, she thought she would be alone. This was not the case.

She opened the door to a sight she never in a million years would have expected.

"… Kristin?"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Idina. Hi." Kristin gave a timid smile, afraid she was invading somehow on Idina's sacred space. She didn't necessarily feel she had the right to anymore.

She and Idina hadn't been in contact since the last time she saw her, seven months ago. Before that, they had gone years without a text or call. There were a few tweets exchanged but never anything more. Kristin felt as if it was her fault a lot of the time but, at the same time, she knew it still was a two way street. She couldn't ignore the countless times that she wanted to call Idina simply to see how things were going. However, she never did because she made the lame excuse that Idina was probably busy as she usually was.

"Kristin, wha… what are you going here?" Idina returned the smile but she knew she wasn't containing her surprise and curiosity very well. "You said you weren't coming tonight, not even going to be in the city. I saw the tweet." Idina looked over Kristin who wasn't really dressed up for the occasion but instead had on a simple black cocktail dress. She still looked great and Idina really liked her new haircut.

"Oh, yeah, I was supposed to be filming today but they cancelled and, and I wanted to be here for everyone; you know these people are my family. But I had already told them I wasn't coming. And since I told everyone that, I didn't have a ticket but I've been here so many times, they let me come sit backstage and listen to what was happening in, in the monitors." She paused for a minute to catch her breath because she had just rambled all of that out very quickly. She looked to Idina who was waiting to see if she would continue. She did.

"I, I heard your performance, Dee. It was absolutely amazing," she smiled again.

"Well, thank you. It was… exhilarating."

They sat in an awkward silence for a moment: neither really knowing what to say in this moment. Idina spoke first.

"Kris," she gave a little giggle. "Come here." She extended her arms.

Kristin gave a genuinely huge smile and crossed the room and wrapped herself in Idina's arms. "I've missed you, Dee." She said into the taller woman's neck.

"I've missed you too, Kris. So much." They held each other for a moment and broke at the same time. "How have you been anyway?"

Kristin gave a short rundown of what she has been up to for the past months. She went on to say she would be returning to Broadway in the coming year and how excited she was for it. Idina watched as Kristin's eyes lit up while she talked about her projects. She always did become very giddy when she was asked about the subject.

"I don't even feel like I need to ask with you, Dee: seems like you've been all over the media recently. I'm so happy for you. I told you that one day the world would finally see how amazing you are." She smiled and gave Idina a little punch to the shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm sure everyone is getting tired of me right about now." Idina laughed.

"Well, I for one, could never get tired of you." Kristin looked the other way.

"Really?" Idina allowed herself to feel flattered for a moment before she blurted, "You never contact me or anything so I guess I always assumed…" She stopped before she said much more. She didn't know where the words were coming from and she instantly regretted saying them. She also felt bad for the bitter tone it came out in.

"Phones do work both ways, Idina." Kristin shot back.

They looked at each other for a long moment. They both didn't want this argument especially not now.

"I'm sorry." Kristin said first.

"I am too." Idina gave back. "So, why are you here anyway?" Idina couldn't contain the curiosity now. She wanted a real reason.

"I told you." Kristin avoided.

"You know what I meant. Why are you here to see me?"

"I wanted to tell you how great your performance was and to wish you luck for the award tonight. You deserve it."

Idina waited.

"And, I wanted to ask if you wanted to go to dinner sometime?_ Reconnect _and such." Kristin rushed through the first part and became nervous during the second sentence.

The nervousness and the emphasis on 'reconnect' made her seriously wonder the intentions Kristin had but, deep down, she already knew.

"Wha.." Idina stumbled. "Why now?" she looked to Kristin who avoided her gaze for the moment being.

"I... I miss you, Dee." She paused and looked to an unconvinced Idina. 'I always have. I would think you would know…" she stopped, not wanting to speculate too much.

"Kris… I miss you too but I just… I don't know." She saw Kristin search her features and become even more nervous than she was when she had asked the initial question.

"Well, how… how about you think about it and give me a call. I'll be back in NYC in a week. Take that time to make your decision and let me know. And, Dee, it's one dinner. I don't expect… I don't want you to think… I… It's just me." Kristin smiled again and walked to the door. Before she walked out, she turned around. She didn't speak any word but her eyes said it all..._ "I'll see you around. Good luck tonight."_

And with that, she was gone. She left and Idina was left alone in the silent room with a spinning mind. Her brain was spinning in every direction and, no matter how hard she was trying; she couldn't get it to stop.

She didn't have much time to process anything before her team came in. They got her redressed and re-beautified. Before she went to her seat, they had decided to make a trip over to see a couple of new witches.

As she walked through the corridor, she heard the beginning of 'For Good' start through the monitors that were placed throughout. She instantly felt a pang in heart as she heard this new Glinda sing the first lines. She couldn't help but feel as if it were all wrong: Kristin and her in the same building and still not having anything to do with the decade anniversary.

She noticed that the workers had led her to the wings of the stage: one of the whispering to her that they thought she would want to see. She didn't know if she did.

She watched as this couple sang. They were good but their practiced emotions were showing. You could tell they were comfortable with each other but, at the same time, it was clear to her that they didn't have that factor that she and Kristin have… had. Who was she kidding; no one could have what they had.

It was turning out to be a solid performance and she was enjoying but, as the song came to a close, she saw something. She doubted anyone noticed or knew the significance but her heart instantly dropped.

This new Glinda grabbed Elphaba's hat. She instantly remembered when Kristin started doing that to her. It was a few months after they had previewed and found that the show was going to be bigger than both of them had ever expected. But, that was their thing and she hadn't ever noticed any pairs do it after them… until now.

Maybe it was meant to be an homage to 'the originals' for the anniversary but she doubted it in some ways. It was one of the few things her and Kris did to be closer to each other during the show. Often times, the directors wanted her and Kristin to stand farther apart during 'For Good' for that analytical member of the audience who felt the song was about Elphaba pushing Glinda away, but Kristin came up with that to let her know she was there, because staring at each other was never good enough back then.

She thought for a moment and wondered if Kristin was still backstage somewhere and if she had caught what just happened. She waited until the final chord was sung and decided she should leave so they wouldn't see her as they came off stage.

She waited a few moments and went in to their dressing room. She chatted with them for a moment and told them what a great performance they had. She could see the surprise and joy in their eyes when she arrived. After a few more minutes of talking, she excused herself to go back to her seat.

She sat the whole time thinking about the exchange with Kristin. Soon enough, she forced herself to stop thinking and watch the show. Also, Hugh decided to take a seat on her lap, which was a welcomed distraction from the things just around the bend. She would think about it all later, right now, she was going to enjoy the moment.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Well, she lost and the show was now ending. She can't say she expected any different and she was glad Jessie won. Now that the night was ending, she was super glad to head off to the If/Then after party. All she wanted to do was go and see her family.

She said her goodbyes to her mom and sister and took her town car to the party.

On the way, she stopped to think briefly of her encounter with Kristin.

_What would one dinner hurt? Like she said, it's just her. It's not like a date, is it? No, probably not. I could ask her. No, that'd be awkward. But, would it really be bad if it were a date?_

_Idina, are you crazy? Do you remember what happened all those years ago? Yes, you're both single now but; would it really be worth it? You could get hurt. You could hurt her. You don't want either of those things to happen. _

_It's not like it's a date anyway. But do I really wanna get tangled in that again? We can never seem to make the friendship completely work. _

_Well, maybe if we'd stop making stupid excuses we could actually…_

She was interrupted from her train of thought by her driver announcing that they had arrived at the party.

_This is just what I need. _She thought as she got out of the car and walked into the building.

Instantly, she was greeted with cheers, applause, hugs, compliments, and flashing lights. She made her way through the crowd, hugging everyone in the way as they tried to tell her how amazing her performance was. She enjoyed hearing all of the people tell her their stories of chills and tears as she performed.

Idina was always one for a good limelight but she was thankful that people mainly left her alone after they gave her their regards. Idina made her way over to the bar and got a drink before looking for James, who had surprisingly not talked to her yet.

"James!" Idina said excitedly causing the man to slightly jump and look up from his phone. Instantly, he rose and gave her a big hug.

"Oh my gosh, Dina. Your performance was absolutely amazing. I had full body chills, like, I shit you not." He smiled again, showing all of his teeth.

"Well, thank you. It really was a great time. Had to redeem myself for that Oscar performance." She looked down at the thought of the last note in Let It Go.

"Dina, stop thinking about that, seriously. You had a lot of shitty circumstances with that performance like the orchestra and the cuts and timing, not to mention the christening of your new name. And after all that, I still thought it was a damn good performance." He gave her a little tap on the shoulder, "Give yourself a break."

"Eh, yeah. Thanks. Anyway, I don't wanna think about any of that right now. Let's get another drink!" she grabbed his hand and started to walk toward the bar,

He stopped and pulled her back a bit then looked up at her nervously. "Dina, drinks aren't really good for the voice."

She gave him a weird look. "James. When did you become such the goodie goodie?"

He gave a nervous smile and looked around the room. "I just, I don't know, wanna get bad tonight. Not here."

"James, we don't have a show tomorrow. Live a little, sheesh!" she playfully tapped him on the check as she spoke the last words. Again, she reached down and grabbed his hand and took him the bar. This time, he didn't resist.

After four shots and a few fruity drinks, Idina was beginning to feel the buzz in her head and the slight spin of the room. She looked over to James who seemed to be in the same boat. _Not drunk but not sober._ She thought.

"Man, soo glad I let you talk me in to this." He said swaying over and bumping into her on the seat beside him. "Like, I'm not drunk but I am definitely not sober. I'm so good right now."

"James, I was literally just thinking that. That's how I am too!" she was a little overexcited that he just said what she had literally just thought. "Hiiigh fives!" she laughed.

Idina raised her hand and James went with it. They both went for the high five but, given their current state, they missed each other's hands causing Idina to almost fall of the bar stool. Luckily, James caught her. Well, he didn't really have a choice because she fell directly in to him.

Idina's face managed to go straight in to James' chest. _Man, he smells good. _Idina thought as she felt his hand grab her and try to set her back to the position she had started in.

Once properly seated, James let his hand fall to her forearms, not completely removing them. They locked eyes.

"Idina…" James practically breathed. "I… I still wanted to ask you that question." He looked down and then back at her.

Idina looked down at her arms that James' hands were still covering. She felt a knot come up in her stomach before she finally told him, "go ahead."

"Ummm.. I.. Oh God, I'm so bad at this." He looked down and probably noticed that his hands were still on her. Her removed them as if she had suddenly become stove top. "I... would you maybe go out… with me… for dinner?"

He still wasn't looking in her eyes when she looked up at him. She couldn't say she really expected this kind of question from him. Yeah, they messed with each other, which could probably be considered as flirting to anyone who would happen to catch it. But it was all mindless to her, she had never thought anything of it… until now.

"Uhh, James, I…." she didn't even know what she wanted to say.

"You!" he cut her off. "You don't need to answer right now! Give it a bit. I know you have a lot going on in that brain of yours. Take your time and let me know. But Dina, it's just one dinner. I don't expect anything out of you or out of it. I just… yeah… dinner. Let me know." He smiled, picked his drink up and walked away leaving a speechless Idina Menzel.


End file.
